Courtney Page (00:38)
you

You

I don’t have a glam team, everyone. Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (00:58)
⁓ Courtney is also a licensed counselor as well, what age group are you counseling now?

Courtney Page (01:05)
⁓ So high school really.

Brandi Lewis (01:07)
High school, nice.

So I think you’ll be able to add a lot of perspective of your own, but also a counselor’s perspective as well on what we’re gonna talk about today. So we’re excited to have you.

Courtney Page (01:20)
Mm-hmm. Thank you. I’m glad to be here.

Brandi Lewis (01:23)
All right, so for part one, I thought we’d really focus on your perspective on when I was sick. So from my diagnosis, I want to know your perspective. And I think this is such a good episode and a good topic because you really don’t get to hear about the siblings that go through what one sibling goes through when they’re diagnosed with something that’s

a big health issue within the family. You hear a lot of the times that, yes, me as the patient, yes, I’m the one that went through a lot. And you hear that the family goes through a lot, but you really don’t really get to sit down and talk to a family member that’s been through it. So think that’ll be really good

what year of school were you in when I was diagnosed the first time?

Courtney Page (02:14)
I was a sophomore in high school.

Brandi Lewis (02:16)
Okay. So yeah, you were, you were young. were trying to figure high school out. I mean, it’s only your second year there. ⁓ And so for me, I took medical leave. was a sophomore in college or trying to start my sophomore year, took a medical leave. So I came back home. ⁓ We all live together. And so you, I feel like an anybody got to see a lot of what was going on.

out of you and Ashley, my older sister. So I think you’ll be able to really give a lot of perspective on that and just encourage kids that may be in that same battle right now. how did you feel when I was first diagnosed?

Courtney Page (03:03)
When you were first diagnosed, and anybody who knows our family, they know that I am the baby. And I am the true baby. True. Like, yeah, I’m the true. Like, through and through. But, at first, and I will just tell you, like, initial and then, like, go…

Brandi Lewis (03:12)
Yeah, yeah. True, baby. True. Emphasis on the true. Yeah.

Courtney Page (03:30)
like the initial and then like the process of me actually, like me processing it and actually understanding it. So my initial understanding of it was, and at this age, know, everyone calls it like the sophomore slump, right? Whenever you’re in high school. So at this age, my life was traumatic, right? Like, you know, any 15, 16 year old girl, right? ⁓

Brandi Lewis (03:56)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (04:01)
So whenever you were first diagnosed, honestly I was like, my sister’s gonna die. Like that was my initial thought. ⁓ And I honestly didn’t have a complete concept of what you were actually going through. Like I really didn’t because going back to being the true baby, mom and daddy honestly tried to hide a lot from me.

Brandi Lewis (04:08)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (04:28)
not how I don’t want to say it in that way but they wanted to protect me because they were also like well she’s still young she’s still in high school how much can we really tell her how much can she really handle ⁓ so without being given a lot of information I honestly just went to the worst thing possible

Brandi Lewis (04:31)
to you.

Yeah, you’re young so that yeah

Courtney Page (04:52)
You know, like, and obviously you have all these hormones and emotions are high, and every year at that age. So I was like, my sister’s going to die. Like literally that death was the only thing that I thought of. So yes, I mean, I’m a Christian at that time. Was a Christian. We were raised in church and you know, as much as mom and daddy pray and had us in church and they were like, lean on your faith and things like that.

I still, it was hard for me to do that because I was like, my sister’s gonna die.

Brandi Lewis (05:27)
Would you say this was like your real true like life issue that you dealt with? did that have something to do with it? Like a very hard life issue that you had to deal with?

Courtney Page (05:41)
that was the first hard issue in seeing like a sibling go through something. That’s what was hard. Because in my mind I was like how are me and Ashley going to survive without the middle? You know like…

Brandi Lewis (05:44)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (06:00)
Ashley and I are six years apart. Yeah. Like we all have a role in our family. So I’m the youngest, Ashley’s the oldest. We’re six years apart. So at that time I was like, you’re like the glue, right? Like between me and Ashley. And Ashley and I are close in our own way. Me and you are close in our own way. But we need you. You know what I mean? Because there’s that gap of like…

Brandi Lewis (06:00)
We all play a role. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Courtney Page (06:30)
Or at that time too, there’s that gap of, well, Ashley’s a full blown adult, I’m still in high school, we don’t have anything in common, what are we gonna do without Brandy because she’s like the mediator. So in my mind, I’m like.

Brandi Lewis (06:40)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (06:47)
what are we gonna do? But then, whenever I was told that about you and not really given the complete picture or the full information, I didn’t wanna speak that because I do believe in the power of words and I didn’t wanna say that I thought that. I’m not gonna say that to you. never vocalized that to mom and daddy at the time.

That was the very first thing that I kept to myself. And that’s when it started to be me keeping everything to myself in an unhealthy way. So I just stopped expressing how I felt. So that was the start of, no, I’m fine. I’m good. But the reason why I was doing that was because I was like, Brandy needs more attention than I do.

Brandi Lewis (07:26)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Courtney Page (07:43)
I’m good, I’ll figure it out.

Brandi Lewis (07:44)
And

on my side at that time, I was trying to get the attention off of me because I knew I was getting it so much. I wanted you and Ashley to have that attention. Because I think one thing people don’t discuss a lot, and it takes time for it to be discussed, of course, within any family dynamic that goes through something like this, is how everybody

dealt with it because we all dealt with it differently. And we all saw it from a different perspective. And for me, I was so wrapped up in what was going on with me, there was mentally no capacity to think past that. So I love to hear your perspective also because you were a child at the time. And I wonder like,

Courtney Page (08:15)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (08:42)
if other kids felt that same way of just saying, I’m fine, because they knew that all that attention really needed to go to the other sibling.

Courtney Page (08:53)
The attention, the energy, I wanted to make your life easy, I wanted to make mom and daddy’s life easy to where they didn’t have to worry about me or think about me. So I would in a way be like texting or calling my friends and being like, hey, I’m going to arrive with you tomorrow or hey, I’m going to do this with you tomorrow.

before even telling mom and daddy just because I was like, let me go ahead and handle that so that way that’s just something that’s not on their mind or on their plate, right? So it kind of made me, like we said, I’m the true baby, but it made me kind of grow up very quickly ⁓ in a sense of responsibility. And not that that’s anyone’s fault, like I don’t blame you, I don’t blame mom and dad, I don’t blame anyone. I just think that I was in, you know, like,

Brandi Lewis (09:25)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (09:47)
fight or flight mode, right? Like I was just in like, all right, I’m about to fight, like just for myself and keep my feelings at bay because I don’t think that they need to worry about me, you know? Like, so how I’m feeling, it doesn’t matter right now. Like there’s something bigger that’s happening, right? ⁓ And I think that actually… ⁓

Brandi Lewis (10:07)
Yeah, yeah.

Courtney Page (10:14)
kind of started me and just even becoming an adult now that’s allowed me to be labeled as the mom of my friend group or like the strong friend, right? But I think that’s because of what happened to you. I just was like, all right, let’s just fight. Let’s, you know, like I’m good. Nobody worry about me, but. ⁓

Brandi Lewis (10:24)
Yeah.

the mental strength of it, it made you mentally stronger is what it sounds like.

Courtney Page (10:42)
Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (10:45)
would you say that now with your friend group, you definitely see that that’s a big reason why you’re kind of like the mom of the group is because of that? Wow, I’ve never thought about that.

Courtney Page (10:54)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Because of experiencing that at a young age, just having to be strong. ⁓ And then I realized too, like even in high school, going throughout college, people were like, Courtney, I want to come talk to you. And I’d be like, okay, yeah. Like, you know, like, and they’d be like, man, you’re so good at giving advice or you have so much wisdom. And I was just like, I mean,

Brandi Lewis (11:15)
and

Courtney Page (11:23)
I didn’t think so, I just was always like pushing my feelings aside, starting with you and then it just became a thing that I started to do and then I was like, okay, is this healthy? Is this, you know, is this unhealthy? And then it got to a point where it was not healthy to where I, you know.

Brandi Lewis (11:38)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Courtney Page (11:45)
just started to have really bad anxiety. Which I’m not afraid to say that now, right? Like just ⁓ getting my own head, right? Getting my own way in a little bit. But ⁓ yeah, to where it was an unhealthy amount of I’m good, I’m all right. And then just internally freaking out because I never had any, or…

Brandi Lewis (11:49)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (12:14)
in my mind, I was like, I don’t have anyone to talk to you, right? Because I’m not supposed to be the person who shares my feelings. I’m now the strong sister, the strong friend, the strong daughter, right? So, but I have put those expectations on myself and I put that label on myself. No one else did. Right? So, ⁓

Brandi Lewis (12:17)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Courtney Page (12:38)
I think that’s where the unhealthy part came from is like, you can’t share that. You can’t feel that way. You need to just dig your heels in and grind it out. You’ll be fine. Like you’ve always done. ⁓

Brandi Lewis (12:51)
Yeah.

What

have you done to recognize that and start changing that for the better?

Courtney Page (13:07)
I recognized it whenever I was in college and just simply

taking tests, mean, I was like, something’s wrong. Because in my mind, I had so many other things going on that I couldn’t even focus on taking a simple test in a room full of other people to where I would be like, my gosh, they’re looking at me. my gosh, they’re finished before me and people are looking at me and they’re noticing I’m not finished. And that was never the case, right? ⁓ So when I realized that, that I was like, this is not…

Brandi Lewis (13:36)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (13:43)
normal like I you know I Need to go take tests in another Room or you know so just having that test anxiety. That’s when that started because everything else was on my mind of How’s my sister? How’s my mom? How’s I wonder how my friends are doing? I wonder how you know so you start to like in a very unhealthy way worry about everyone else’s problems other than yours And so

Brandi Lewis (14:07)
you

Courtney Page (14:12)
then I was like, I gotta go take my test another room and I need to go to therapy. I was like, I gotta go see somebody. Because, and anyone who knows our mom, God love her. But if you tell her something’s wrong with you, she wants to fix it. On sight. Like, right now. Like, we can’t unpack.

Brandi Lewis (14:16)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, now.

Courtney Page (14:40)
We cannot unpack everything that happened in 2008 with me, okay? Like, right now. But that’s how she is. And that’s why I was like, can’t tell her that I’m going to therapy. I can’t tell her that I have test anxiety because homegirl will drive from Birmingham to Mobile and want to have, sit there and talk about it until it’s fixed. ⁓ And daddy will be right there with her but daddy will just sit there and, you know, and will be silent but…

Brandi Lewis (14:46)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Courtney Page (15:10)
You know, and that was also another thing. was like, I can’t have them worry about me right now because they need to.

worry about the house or worry about something else, right? So then that’s, that was another thing that I was like, okay, I’m gonna go get therapy on campus. I’m gonna, you know, do this, go do that. And then I’ll tell them I’m gonna get therapy, but I’ll tell them, hey, I got it. Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it. It’s already handled. It’s already done. Yes. Yeah. So. Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (15:35)
because you were used to doing that.

That makes a lot of sense though.

So from a counselor’s perspective…

Those habits that kids begin to form around that age of you when you were a sophomore, is that why those habits stay with people maybe longer until they actually get help?

Courtney Page (15:58)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. And that’s one thing that I’ve done in the past, just any time a kid has come to my office is just be sure to tell their parents and tell them while they’re sitting in front of me, I’ll tell a little bit of my story. don’t go in detail, right? Because it’s not about me, but I just say therapy at this age is so good. And I, because it helps you.

Brandi Lewis (16:02)
Hmm.

Courtney Page (16:28)
whether the problem seems so small or so large to the person, whatever, or to whoever’s on the outside looking in, not that it’s really their business, but whether it’s a small thing or a big thing in their life, it’s a change, right? So with any change, we’ve gotta know how to deal with it. We’ve gotta know how to react, respond. What do we do when we grieve? What do we do when we… ⁓

have changed that’s right in front of us. So what is our coping mechanism? you know, what, or what is a healthy coping mechanism versus a, a negative one, right? Or just a, just a bad one. So I make sure to say at your age or when I was a little bit younger than what you are now or whatever, I was in therapy or I went to therapy or I saw a therapist or, ⁓

when I was a little bit older than what you are, whatever the case may be, I just tell them, it’s okay. You’ve gotta know how to cope. You’ve gotta know what to do ⁓ when something like this happens and it pops up because you don’t want to carry that later on down the road, ⁓ even when you’re married or when you have kids or whatever the case may be because your marriage…

can suffer because of it or it can thrive because of what you’ve done. And then your kids will also mimic what they’ve noticed. ⁓ So, and your kids can feel your energy based off of how you are whenever something happens with them. So, ⁓ it’s important to just go ahead and take care of things. So I tell them, hey, let’s go ahead and refer them to a therapist. And with therapy,

It’s like trying on shoes and y’all know, if you know me, you know I love a good pair of shoes. It’s like, but it’s like trying on shoes. You gotta keep trying it till it fits, right? Try on the right size until it fits. So it’s not gonna be the very first person you see or sometimes it might be. So ⁓ basically what I would say to anyone at this age is if you have a big change or a small change,

Talk about it. ⁓ Don’t hold it in because your parents still want to know what’s going on with you. It’s not even just going to therapy. It’s talking to your parents, like telling them, because they want to know. Like, they want to know. And if I could go back, not that I regret anything because it’s allowed me to be who I am today and allowed me to grow into the person and the woman that I am today, but…

Brandi Lewis (18:56)
Yeah.

They do. Yeah.

Courtney Page (19:24)
your parents sit there and not only do they worry about the sibling that may be sick, but they’re worried about the healthy siblings. They really are. And if I could go back, I would not lock myself in my room and tell mom and daddy, hey, I’m good. No, I’m fine. And then close the door and cry till I fell asleep.

Brandi Lewis (19:43)
Yeah.

which I think we all did that at different times. Like I would too, I would say I’m running bath water to take a bath because I couldn’t take showers at times because I’ve had so many surgeries and I would just sit there and cry. I would just cry and ask God why and all of that. So it’s so interesting just to hear different perspective. really is. hearing this perspective of you,

Courtney Page (19:48)
yeah. yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (20:14)
I mean, we are close and I know you, but it makes me, it’s like I’ve pulled back another layer of who you are. Like I feel like now I understand why you’re a counselor. I understand why high school students gravitate towards you, ⁓ why you’re so passionate and understanding and making sure that they get what they need, why the parents love you and always want to know your perspective on their child.

it really has pulled back another layer of understanding more about you. And that’s just life. Like as close as we are, we still don’t know every 100%, every single thing about each other. But I love to know that now I’m like, ⁓ this all makes sense. It really makes sense why you’re able to eloquently speak on it because of what you went through too though. Would you say that’s what made you want to become a counselor?

Courtney Page (21:05)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. ⁓

Brandi Lewis (21:12)
because you started as a teacher.

Courtney Page (21:18)
Yeah, started as a teacher and then I just felt like every time I was standing in the hallway because at the school that I was at, we had to do like kind of like hallway duty in between each class, just making sure the kids weren’t being crazy and you know, things like that in between classes and class change and. ⁓

Every time I would stand out in the hall, there was a girl or a guy or just someone that would be like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? And I’d be like, yeah, but you need to get to class. Like you only have like five to six minutes to get through. Like we don’t have. And so even being a coach, like my kids would always want to talk to me at the beginning of practice. And I was like, guys, we got to get practice started. Like we got to get practice started so you guys can go home, you know, go home on time. And ⁓

Brandi Lewis (21:55)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (22:11)
But even after practice, I would find myself staying there and I was just like, man, what? Like, I’m called to do something more. I’m called to not only speak to a kid for three minutes when the bell rings, or not only called to speak to a kid for like five or 10 minutes before or after practice. ⁓ anyway, it was just…

Brandi Lewis (22:20)
Yeah. ⁓

Courtney Page (22:35)
a door open right in my face that I could not turn down with getting my Masters in School counseling paid for and having the job right away. It’s just, God puts things in your way for a reason, especially when you’ve been thinking about it and multiple people telling you, hey, you’d be a really good counselor for…

Brandi Lewis (22:51)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Courtney Page (23:04)
these kids or hey, you’d be, you know, and just getting told that ⁓ and also realizing how many kids just would want to have a conversation just about little things that were going on or maybe big things that were going on in their lives. And so then I was just like, I want to do this, you know, and so I was called to, I was called to do more and ⁓ just having an office of my own that I could decorate on my own and just.

welcome kids and have candy, have a diffuser, know, like have music playing and then have them come in and just have a place where they felt comfortable to just come in my office and sit down. Whether we were talking or not, some kids would just be like, hey, I just need a place that’s just quiet for a second. I just need a moment. I don’t even need to talk. I just need a moment of just something peaceful. Or sometimes some kids would come to my office and they would just say,

Brandi Lewis (23:35)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (24:04)
Can you just pray with me? So that’s how I knew that God really put me, or put this profession in my hands, literally. And I love it. I love it.

Brandi Lewis (24:05)
Yeah.

It definitely sounds like God placed you there. It sounds like God opened all the doors for you to go get your master’s degree in this and for you to go back to school and to heal that test anxiety, for you to understand even in school, my gosh, I am much smarter than I thought I was. You were always smart, but to have that mentality going back into counseling and going back to school, I think that also helped you heal a lot of that anxiety that you had from test taking too.

Courtney Page (24:47)
Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (24:48)
and just, cause I always could, I remember always hearing you in school just talk about, my gosh, like I am, I’m good at this. I’m excelling at this. I’m yeah, the tests are hard, but I can do this. And, and it was like, you felt more empowered than when you were younger, which we all do, but I could definitely tell a difference in you in school as an adult.

Courtney Page (24:58)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (25:13)
And you talking about that test anxiety, but how you were able to really not maybe a hundred percent move past that, but move closer to that hump of getting over something that was really hard for you when you were younger. That I do remember.

Courtney Page (25:29)
Yeah,

I was actually able to realize I can’t bottle everything up and think about it during this moment in time whenever I’m taking a final exam. know, such-and-such is okay, everybody’s alive and well. Why am I even thinking about what little Suzy did? Yeah. Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (25:38)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. It’s like God gave you a second chance at what you wanted.

That’s so cool. I really love that. ⁓ I do want to go back to a moment though that I think we all remember when I was sick ⁓ is when you and mama went to a concert to see Kenny G. He came to Birmingham.

Courtney Page (25:58)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (26:18)
It’s so funny because I think that’s all a part of, a big part of all of our memories is you being able to have that night with mama. And I remember, think I had just had like, I had just got out of the hospital or something No, I was in the hospital.

Courtney Page (26:19)
and use.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (26:36)
Sorry, just

hit me. I was in the hospital that night and we were in the hospital that day. I got it admitted for something. And I remember she was like dressed up. Y’all came to the hospital and left from there and got to go to see Kenny G. And I remember being so happy and just a breath of fresh air. I’m going to tear up that you got to have that moment because it was so hard to

Courtney Page (26:49)
Thank

Brandi Lewis (27:04)
not have the focus on me. It really was. So I think that’s such a beautiful story. I want you to tell it, but I think it’s such a beautiful story because you, I felt like, okay, my sister is having her moment. And that was all I ever wanted ⁓ within my diagnosis. ⁓ I can’t stop crying. You’re supposed to be the one crying. ⁓ You just had the baby. ⁓

Courtney Page (27:19)
you

Okay.

Brandi Lewis (27:32)
But I do, I really, I love that moment that you got to have with mama because I think you needed it. Yeah. So I do want you to tell that. I won’t tell your story, but I do want you to tell that story.

Courtney Page (27:41)
Mm-hmm.

no, it’s okay. ⁓ you’re to me too.

Okay, so I just remember that entire, I feel like the week just leading up to it. ⁓ And I can’t remember exactly how it happened. I can’t remember if I found the tickets or if mama did. I don’t remember who found it, but either way we were like, let’s go. You know, and mama was like, you have to, we have to go. Like she was like, we’re going. ⁓ And then I remember while you were in the hospital, I was like,

Brandi Lewis (28:15)
Yes.

Courtney Page (28:20)
I was telling mom, was like, it’s okay if we don’t go. Like I just remember saying, we’ll have to Brady, like Brady needs you more. Like I just, you know, I was like, I can go with someone else. Like you just go there. Like I don’t need, we don’t have to go. And mom was like, we’re going. She said, I am taking you. We’re going to see Kenny G. ⁓ And we went to dinner before. And if my memory stands correct, if any, I had a steak.

Brandi Lewis (28:26)
No. No, no, no, no.

You got a steak.

Courtney Page (28:53)
A medium rare steak. And I can’t remember and people are gonna judge me, whatever, but if you knew about the Applebee’s on Lakeshore, okay?

Brandi Lewis (28:55)
yeah.

at that

time, yeah, that was…

Courtney Page (29:07)
slapped. Okay.

You knew this Applebee’s.

Brandi Lewis (29:11)
Are

those even around anymore?

Courtney Page (29:14)
I mean, I don’t even know. But I think there’s one down here. anyway, I just remember being like, I want to go to Applebee’s, get a ribeye. And it needs to be medium rare. Because mom was like, we’ll go to dinner. We’ll make a whole night of it. Right? And then we’ll go see Kenny G. And if you know me, I love some Kenny G.

Brandi Lewis (29:16)
Right?

Yeah.

my gosh, you

and mama love Kenny G.

Courtney Page (29:44)
Just vibe into this old man.

Brandi Lewis (29:48)
with

low-key a jerry-crop.

Courtney Page (29:54)
I’m into this ⁓ old man with some curly hair. I think I’m the youngest person in this audience anyway. I think I was.

Brandi Lewis (29:56)
you

Probably, yeah.

People probably Googling who is Kitty G right now.

Courtney Page (30:08)
Yeah, was Kenny G.

I was full off a steak and a baked potato with some broccoli probably and a Sprite because that was my normal order at Applebee’s. Going to Kenny G, vibing and I just remember hugging mama and just telling her like thank you for tonight. And then I remember just going to bed

Brandi Lewis (30:20)
place.

Courtney Page (30:36)
for the first time in what felt like forever with a smile on my face. Because I had finally done something that I loved and finally felt like, I’m not forgotten. I’m seen, I’m still seen, or like, you know.

Brandi Lewis (30:41)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Courtney Page (30:58)
Cause you know, at that age, nobody loves me. you know, like, yeah, yeah. And you know, just being dramatic, good lord. But just so dramatic. But just being like, my gosh, my parents still see me. My mom still sees me. They still love me. ⁓ And I’m happy. And I went to bed.

Brandi Lewis (31:02)
Yeah, the drama on top of, yeah, what you’re going through.

Courtney Page (31:27)
happy with a smile on my face. And then like the next morning you wake up and it’s still reality, right? So you’re, you go back to kind of how you were before that, right? But that was, it was just not, it was nice to have just a night where mama was like, well, how are you? How’s school? How’s, how are sports? How are, you know, like, how’s this? You know, just sitting at dinner and

I would find myself even at dinner just being like, well, how’s Brandy? know, and was like, we’re not gonna talk about it. She was like, you know, I love her, but we’re not gonna, this is about you tonight. And I was just in the back of my mind now, or like in my head, I’m still thinking about you, because that was me at that time where I was like, I wonder how she is, is she okay? Is she, you know, but. ⁓

Brandi Lewis (32:06)
Yep. Yeah.

is yeah.

Courtney Page (32:27)
It almost, when we got to the concert, it’s almost like God allowed me to forget about everything that was happening and just be in the moment and listen to the music and just be and just sit there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (32:39)
You needed that. We all needed that. To be honest,

we all needed you to feel seen and to feel appreciated. Of course we say that, but sometimes the actions of doing something literally just for that one person, I think goes a long way. I do want to ask from a counselor’s perspective,

Courtney Page (32:58)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (33:06)
to any parent or any adult that is listening to this episode that needs guidance, words of encouragement. what do you tell a parent that has a child that needs that love and that attention, the child that is the healthy child, that isn’t going through what the other child is going through, but needs that attention? What do you tell them?

Courtney Page (33:35)
First I tell them to look for signs of anything that may change drastically. If they’re like, no I don’t want to do that. Their interests change. Drastically change. Notice that. ⁓ Because at first they’ll be like, don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t like doing that anymore, but it’s like.

That sounds off, right? So look for some drastic changes. Look for the silence. ⁓ But right away, just be like, tell them. Like, tell them. I’m here for you too. I still see you. I still love you. We know that this is affecting you as well. So don’t stop having conversation with them. Whether it’s…

a mom to a son, a mom to a daughter, dad to a son, dad to a daughter. And at first, obviously, there’s initial shock on everyone’s part whenever the child who’s sick gets a diagnosis. So, you know, right away, no one’s going to be like, tell me what happened. How are you feeling? What’s going You know, everyone has to process it, right? But don’t… ⁓

negate the fact that those healthy children still need some affirmation in the sense of, we’re still here for you, we still love you, we still care about you. How can we show that to you? Like, have that conversation and open and have a dialogue of how can that be shown to you? How would you like us to show that to you? What would make you feel like… ⁓

you’re receiving that. ⁓ So I think that that’s very important is just continue the dialogue, continue the conversation with them. ⁓ And then doing what mama and daddy did, taking them to their favorite concert or their favorite music artists or ball game, right? Whether it’s football, basketball, I don’t know, volleyball, whatever.

taking them to their favorite concert ⁓ or favorite restaurant, whatever the case may be, just noticing that that child might need or does need someone to show up for them as well.

Brandi Lewis (36:13)
I love that. Now once you speak to the healthy child that needs something, just a boost of energy, something to help them through this time, what do you tell them?

Courtney Page (36:27)
⁓ You are seen, you are loved, you are cared about. ⁓ Whether that’s, you know, whether your parents are seeming so busy going to appointments with your sibling, ⁓ go see your school counselor, right? Go tell them, hey, let them know what’s going on. Let them advocate for you because sometimes…

your parents are so busy with the sibling that’s in the hospital or the sibling that is sick ⁓ that you need an adult to advocate for you cannot do it on your own. You are not strong enough to do it on your your brain is not developed enough for you to do it on your own. And so I’m saying that from a place where I wish that I would have opened my mouth and tried to advocate for myself. But obviously we don’t know.

that we can advocate for ourselves at this age, but allow an adult to do that because my grades suffered because of it, right? ⁓ Until I actually opened my mouth and said, hey, I need help. ⁓ Or until an adult realized that one of my favorite teachers who I actually spoke to the other day, anyway, shout out to Amanda Esslinger, but she noticed it ⁓ and she actually.

spent so much time with me just helping with like reading comprehension, things like that, like after school or whatever, and then would even go communicate with counselors for me or go communicate on my behalf to other teachers like, hey, this is what’s going on because I didn’t want to talk about it. It was my reality, right? But I did not want to say it. Like I said, the power for it, like just vocalizing it. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to say that at all. And so,

And even there was another teacher who helped me. It was one of my math teachers, ⁓ Ms. Swift. She was awesome. But both of them literally had my back, you know, at school. And they would even tell mama and daddy, we got her. They would tell her, hey, don’t worry, we’ve got her here. You were, you know, like, and even, ⁓

Brandi Lewis (38:34)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (38:43)
some of my best friends growing up, like their moms would even help and they would step in. But I would tell that kid, to not be afraid to go to their counselor, go to a teacher and just say, tell one person, one adult, can you communicate this for me? Because I can’t say this over and over again to seven different teachers, right? Or to my coaches or things like that.

Brandi Lewis (38:57)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Courtney Page (39:08)
just tell that one adult to say what’s going on. And even though mom and daddy sent emails and they communicated that, right? ⁓ But in them knowing, my teachers and coaches, in them knowing what was going on, they helped. They stepped in. They were the adults that would advocate for me. ⁓ have that dialogue with that one adult, that trusted adult that you have.

that’s outside of your parents, but also don’t stop the dialogue with your parents and telling them what’s going on because they want to know what’s going on too, right? So it’s not just people who are outside of your family, but your family wants to know what’s going on because they are worried about you as well. So you can’t stop the dialogue either and just simply saying, I need y’all to just hear me for a moment or I need a moment, right? Don’t cry yourself to sleep because I did many nights, right? I think we all did, right? But

Brandi Lewis (39:43)
We do.

Courtney Page (40:05)
Cry together, right? Feel together. ⁓ Let them know what’s going on emotionally. Like, let them know you’re scared. I don’t think I ever vocalized that I was scared. ⁓ Until like a little bit later. ⁓ But at first I never said it. I never said in my, what was going on in my head that I thought you were gonna die. Like I never, ⁓ I don’t think I ever said that to anyone.

Brandi Lewis (40:27)
Yeah.

I think we all had that thought. I definitely did, but…

Courtney Page (40:35)
Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (40:39)
think we all were trying to protect each other so much. We kept a lot to ourselves. But I think you have such great advice in saying cry together. Open your mouth, vocalize, communicate. Even as a family, I think that’s great advice. Don’t think because you’re keeping it in or you’re closing the door and you’re crying when nobody sees you that that’s the way to handle it.

Courtney Page (40:45)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (41:08)
Because I think if we all had to do it again, we would do it differently if we could go back.

Courtney Page (41:13)
And,

and that doesn’t mean that the other person’s not feeling the exact same feelings that you are too. Because we were all feeling the same thing but a lot of us were like, like you said, protecting each other and we all didn’t want to say it to each other because we were like, let’s just not, let’s not do that and just move on, right? Like, ⁓

Brandi Lewis (41:18)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I think it’s great advice to tell a child like, it’s okay. The way you’re feeling is probably how other people in your house is feeling as well.

Courtney Page (41:45)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (41:47)
I think that’s great to say. we touched on this a little bit about moving into adulthood and how, you know, that time in your life really in some ways prepared you for adulthood. How would you say that prepared you of dealing with other life obstacles in adulthood?

Courtney Page (42:10)
not letting my mind go to the worst place, but also…

my faith grew stronger as well. So in seeing, if people only knew, but in seeing the amazing things that God has done in your life and in my life And people will know, you know, I guess in part two of this, right?

Brandi Lewis (42:24)
care.

Courtney Page (42:49)
that God, his timing, he never fails, he sees you. And it’s, I can’t even like express it, but.

in realizing during the waiting, during the storm.

You have to lay it at his feet and you cannot pick it back up because you have to completely trust in him that it’s all going to work out. And the story and it’s my husband always says, it’s already written. Why are you worried? Don’t worry. Yeah. It’s already written. It’s already done. So why worry in the process, right? Whenever we just need to.

Brandi Lewis (43:23)
I love that. It is already written.

Courtney Page (43:36)
Again, keep that conversation, keep that dialogue between you and your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Just let Him know how you feel.

Brandi Lewis (43:43)
Yeah.

Courtney Page (43:46)
it’s prepared me, just seeing him move mountains in your life with your health, with your story and where you are today. could you have thought, would you have thought that you would be doing what you’re doing right now?

Brandi Lewis (44:03)
I knew the question you were about to ask. No, absolutely not. ⁓

Courtney Page (44:05)
Like having a podcast. Do you know what I mean? Like

that’s what I’m saying. Like if people only knew where you were, where our family was at this time years ago.

Brandi Lewis (44:16)
Yeah. Yeah.

the people that came through for us when we didn’t have the strength to, like you talked about two, I know you have much more, Ms. Etzling or Ms. Swift, but just those relationships you built over time, like I don’t think people understand when you do something from your heart with,

Courtney Page (44:30)
yeah.

Brandi Lewis (44:45)
No motive, nothing behind it, wanting nothing from it. How like that is an instrumental part of our story. Like Ms. Beverly, like I think of the people that truly came through for us, just tons of people and how they are more than they know instrumental part in our stories from that time. Like you said,

Courtney Page (44:56)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Brandi Lewis (45:10)
there’s no way you could have maneuvered high school without having those supportive teachers that said, got it. I got her. When she’s here, we’ve got her. I think that’s such a beautiful part ⁓ are the relationships you build and the relationships you still have today with them too. Yeah.

Courtney Page (45:16)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, like, and I’m laughing at this because my three best friends in high school, Haley Harrison and Annabeth, and all their parents, and how they fed me because anybody who knows me knows I love to eat. So I would go to their house.

Brandi Lewis (45:40)
Yes.

a lesser.

Courtney Page (45:53)
after school, sometimes before school, after even eating my breakfast, my lunch, dinner, whatever. I would go over there, they’d be like, Courtney, how can we feed you? Like, what would you like to eat? ⁓ But them just helping and them stepping in, ⁓ giving rides to and from places because I am like the baby of even my grade and I couldn’t drive yet. I didn’t drive till my junior year, which is very funny. But them picking me up and…

taking me places to games, to wherever. ⁓ But yeah, shouting out those people that.

are imprinted in our minds and in our hearts. And it’s like those, it’s not even like this, but God put them in our lives for a reason. And they were the angels that were placed on this earth to help us get through and get by with our everyday life.

Brandi Lewis (46:44)
Mmm.

Yeah.

They were. think ⁓ there’s a lot of them and I don’t want to name them all because I don’t want anybody to be left out, but there were so many people that helped us. But I love that that’s a big part of your story too, especially being a sophomore and needing that at that time too with an adult really just standing up and saying, I’m going to help her because she needs it.

Courtney Page (47:02)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (47:21)
And it sounds like you’ve been able to, as a counselor, do that for other kids too, which is so cool. It’s so cool where God places you in full circle moments that happen. And that one sounds like a big full circle moment for you if you went through something and now you’re the adult helping the kid that may be going through it too. Yeah, I love that. All right, we’re gonna pause here.

Courtney Page (47:27)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (47:50)
And we’re going to move into part two, which part two is going to focus on Courtney’s life now, her big faith movement into motherhood. And we’ll explain more about that. So stick around for part two. It’ll come out the next Thursday. If you are listening to this now, part two will come out next Thursday.